Back to work

It's been an interesting couple of weeks, and I have  to say that I am not looking forward to going back to work after such a prolonged absence, but I really have no choice.  The morning leaves me feeling introspective as I think about the choices the day will bring.  I have been having some feelings of doubt lately, but I'm still resolved in my efforts to remain positive in life matters.  I guess I don't really know what direction my life will take in the next few years, but I'm beginning to understand that this is an OK thing.

There are people who can meticulously plan their lives from day to day, and there are those who fly by the seat of their pants from moment to moment.  I find myself somewhere between those opposites.  I like stability, but I still don't like things nailed down by specificity.  One of the things weighing heaviest on my mind is how and when I will find a new job.  I have an opportunity to move to State Farm if my instincts are correct about Nancy Wallace and her job opening, but the prospect of doing more sales is a bit of a turnoff.  

Perhaps it would be best to keep looking for more suitable jobs, but the market is so dry right now, and it's difficult to nail down something that would suit my particular talents.  One of my biggest faults is that I have failed to truly develop any one talent so that it can be presented as a desirable quality that an employer would pick up on, but I digress.  I don't want to slip into more of that kind of negativity so early in the day.  

For now, I think we are doing pretty well.  Not great, but definitely good.  That's a pretty rare thing for most people today.  The other thing that I have written about in the past is that I spend too much time comparing my situation with the success that I perceive others to have.  I only see the good things that my friends are enjoying and I assume that they are living so much better than I am.  This type of thought is depressing, and destructive.  It would be best if I put such thoughts out of my mind.  

I still struggle to find my voice both literally and practically, but I think I grow just a little bit each day, and maybe just a little slower than some men my age.  I don't think I will be left behind, but things might be a little more challenging for me than for others as life goes on.  Still, I'm proud of the fact that we have weathered so many hardships that may have broken weaker individuals.  We have suffered through loss and adversity, and come through the other side as stronger and more mature individuals.  

There is work to be done in my life, but I'm confident that I will find some direction with time and a lot of patience.  The day is young, and there are so many things to do.  Until next time.