Entry 1

This is a blog just for me, and for my thoughts.  I can write anything I would like on here without feeling guilty or self conscious.  The biggest inspiration for writing this journal is that I can access it anywhere, but I feel like I need to keep myself centered on some goals.  I don't need to strive to use fancy language here, just to keep myself focused and accountable for some of my actions.

I feel like I have fallen so far off in my life lately.  I've been trying to stay positive about things, but the usual issues keep bothering me.  I'm overweight, I don't make enough money and I'm unhappy with my job.  I'm behind on my bills and still manage to spend the money I don't have like an idiot.  I need to get control of my life back again. 

Here's the plan.  From this point forward, I will make an effort to change things in my life for myself and for my family.  One of the biggest issues right now is my dependance on video games.  I'm not saying I need to give them up completely, but I have gotten waaaaaay out of control with the amount of play time that I actually accumulate over the course of a regular week.  That time could be better spent improving other areas of my life such as playing with my son, or keeping the house in order since Randi is unable to help at this point. 

Cutting back on video games includes not reading about video games and not worrying about writing about video games.  If anything, games add more stress to my life when I already have a problem managing time to handle other affairs that need attention.  So that's step one.  Less video games during the week.

Step two is a focus on more healthy habits.  I'm always so unhappy about my weight, and I'm really starting to worry about what long term health problems I might develop.  From this point on, I must dedicate myself to some sort of diet and exercise plan to lose weight.  I have tried multiple times in the past, and I remember the success that I had 3 years ago.  The problem is that I give in too easily when I don't see progress.  The plan this time is that I don't have an end goal.  Instead, the goal is to develop more healthy habits and stick to them.  I still have a target weight, but I'm not pushing to have it done by a specific deadline.  Maybe that will make me less likely to quit.

I'm cutting alcohol out of my diet too unless there is a special occasion, but I'm not drinking any alcohol for 2 months.  I just want to see how much of an influence it will have on my life if I stop drinking for a while.  I think doing a video journal would be a good idea too.  I tried to do that in the past, but I'm not going to worry about posting it to the internet or anything.  I just want to record my progress since I have all this video equipment now, and no other use for it. 

I think I'll post the videos to this site and some pics too, just so I can see the changes as i go along.  Might be a good motivator, but if it gets to be too much I will stop.  Here's the goal.  Do two 20 to 30 minute video journals weekly and take a weekly or bi-weekly photo to post to the blog here.

The only other thing I have to gripe about is my job.  I don't really enjoy it anymore, and I often dread going to work at all.  Still, that's no reason to be as lazy as I have been lately.  I need to keep looking for a new job no matter how many times I get turned down.  I do too much complaining about how bad my job sucks instead of trying to fix the situation.  The simple solution here is to just use my time better and to stop moping around so much on the job.  Yeah, the work sucks, but maybe it would be better to focus on being more productive.  Anyway, I'm getting tired of thinking about this right now, but I have some goals to work on at least.  This is just day one.