Entry 3

Well, I didn't get back to this yesterday, and I didn't exercise last night.  This shouldn't be viewed as a failure though.  It's important to not let things like that be a discouragement, but rather a reminder that it is important to stay dedicated to the cause.  On the other hand, it was easier to follow the diet plan yesterday.  I haven't been tracking calories exactly, but it's pretty much common sense for me at this point.  The scale reading this morning was 202.4 which is a little easier to stomach than the 205.4 reading on Monday.  It's not going to be an easy road back to where I was 3 years ago, but the real goal is to just get healthy and stay healthy.  I'm in no hurry this time.

The key is not to look in the mirror too often, stay off the scale whenever possible, and not worry so much about what other people are thinking.  It's not a race, and it's not a competition to make myself better than anyone else, but instead it is a plan to make my own life better and to improve the quality of my mood from day to day.  I think I spend too much time looking at how others live their lives, and I get jealous of how some people seem to be more successful than me.  I just don't like the feeling of resentment that I get when I think about it.

It's really not reasonable to expect the same success that others have enjoyed without being willing to work harder for it.  There are a lot of things that we need to work on to be more successful, and some people take longer to figure things out than others.  I think it has finally gotten easier to accept that my situation and my life are very different from the expectations that I grew up with.  The world is a harder place than it was 30 years ago, and there will be trials and struggles ahead that we will all have to face. 

At any rate, I will try to at least do the video diary tonight since it hasn't been done for the last two nights.  If I don't I'm not going to punish myself over it.  I'm through beating myself up knowing that the world we live in is punishing enough on its own.