Entry 9

I woke up today feeling pretty well.  Other than the fact that I slept longer than I should have, I feel pretty ok about everything that has happened so far this morning.  I was taking a shower this morning when I realized that as long as we are all alive and well that there isn't really anything to be all that upset about.  I found myself smiling as I thought about how I should really try to enjoy things more.  Life so short, and there are so many distractions in the world to keep people from stopping to appreciate the gifts we are all given. 

I know that things will be tough for the next few months with Randi's pay situation, but we will find a way to stay afloat like we always do.  I should be more excited about the fact that we are doing as well as we have been for this long anyway.  There are a lot of people who have faced adversity like we have who folded under the pressure and turned to less desireable ways of living.  Our indurance of spirit is something that I think both of us should be proud of.

I was buying baby things yesterday afternoon, and it got me a little bit more excited about the idea of having the baby around pretty soon.  The excitement never really sinks in until the house starts filling up with baby things.  Somehow the reality of having a little on becomes more real that way.  I realize that we aren't nearly as well prepared this time as we were for Noah, and that upsets me a little bit; our lives were simply different at that point though. 

Sometimes, I question our decision to have another child and whether or not we made a responsible choice.  I realize that this is coming too late since we will definitely keep the baby, but I just hope that we will pull through things and make a better life for ourselves eventually.  I still have a plan in mind for our financial future, and I think things will get better.  I just want to avoid as many unexpected surprises as possible.  Still, my spirits are high, and I don't want to dwell on my concerns for too long.

I will be attempting another start to my 90 day fitness challenge on Monday.  I NEED to do it for sure this time for myself, and for my health.  Good luck to me.